I’ve been listening more to what I call my second voice: the one of compassion. My primary voice, the one that does most of the talking internally, is generally filled with criticism and harsh comparing. I no longer want to use or listen to that voice. I’m done with creating guilt and then acting from that emotion. I’d rather act from love and caring about myself and others.
My last blog was about resistance. I called it “Combatting the Dragon.” This week, I am going back to that theme, because I want to break down what creates resistance. Here’s what I believe: When you are resistant, you are in essence talking yourself out of doing something that you’re afraid to do.
There's a well-known piece of advice for writers: "Kill your darlings." It might seem harsh, and killing your dreams may sound terrible. But there's a reason for doing it. What it means is that as a writer, you need to get rid of your most precious and self-indulgent passages for the greater good of your literary work.
So I’ve been on this long journey of self-discovery. And discovering myself, my true self, not the one others tell me I need to be more like, is the missing piece to the whole entrepreneurial adventure I’m on. It is so true that becoming who I want to be, the kind of person who will go out and make the world a better place, and make a living doing it, is all about self-discovery and self-development.
We approach this problem of uncertainty backwards. Rather than place a small goal before ourselves and then figure out if we need any information or resources to complete that goal, we learn about EVERYTHING. Just in case, we should need any of that information at some later point. When we listen to what others know, we're deciding to let them set our agenda, rather than sticking with our own. Well, they say to do this.
Self-discovery is how you begin to understand yourself and your place in the world. Knowing yourself provides a sense of wholeness, which increases your confidence. You stand stronger in your shows when you value and embrace your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You are more able to say no to what doesn’t match your values and say yes to what does.
Who gets to decide that you are likable? If you want to do something, who makes the rules about whether it is right or not right? Even if (or especially if) what you are doing is an expression of who you are, especially if it comes from the heart, from an authentic place, why care if someone likes or doesn’t like what you did or what you like?